Host Survivial 101

Hello!!

Guys! I am alive! I promise! 

I am so sorry for going MIA after proudly declaring my schedule was back on track, but I was quite busy! My friend from Canada came to Japan and stayed with me here in Osaka! She was here from May 4th to May 20th - a long and satisfying visit. It was totally fun but I forgot that being a host is a lot of work too! So I decided to compile a little list of Host Survival tips for fellow expats here in Japan (and elsewhere!) who may have friends or family coming to stay with them in the future! 

Tip One: Get yourself and your living space ready!

This is a pretty obvious tip to start off with but it is something that is also easy to forget! Having a guest is fun and exciting but it doesn't take long for messes to appear. Who has time to focus on cleaning when you're having so much fun? Clutter, dust and mess is nearly impossible to avoid when having a guest stay with you but it is a lot easier to manage if your living space is clean and organized to begin with. Plus, your guest will feel a lot more comfortable as well! Before my friend arrived I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom and set out fresh towels, blankets, anything I felt she would need! My apartment still needed a serious vacuum after she left back to Canada. A clean freak like me shudders at thinking what it would have looked like if I hadn't prepared in advance! It also makes the post-trip clean up easier to manage too. You'll most likely be exhausted at that point and will appreciate anything that makes your life easier! Trust me! Also make sure you get whatever you need for yourself done beforehand! Get your hair cut, or your nails done, or buy a cute new outfit for the visit! It is unlikely you will get a chance once your guest arrives and if you're feeling your best you'll be able to be a better host! 

Tip Two: Get your guest to make a list of things they want to do and places they want to see before arriving.

You'd be surprised at how many times friends (and myself included) have had guests arrive with no real itinerary or concrete idea of what they want to do on their trip! Many guests think that it is best to leave it up to the host since after all, they live there so they should know the most fun and interesting places to visit! This is fine, and can be very true however it also puts a lot of pressure on the host! Where do we take you? What things do you want to do? Do you want to see modern Japan, or traditional? Unless your guest gives you plenty of heads up that you're leaving it all in their hands and you agree, don't hesitate to ask them to make sure they have a plan! Of course you can give your input and make suggestions since as I mentioned, you're the one living there! But it will save a lot of stress and grief if you have them provide you with the info you need to make their trip unforgettable! 

Tip Three: Take deep breaths.

Let's be completely honest here. No matter who the guest is, your best friend, your sister, your parents...you're probably going to aggravated at some point. Maybe it's going to be from being the only person who speaks the language and thus taking on the job as The Translator as well as host. Maybe its from seeing the same famous building for the hundredth time. Maybe it is from being around people who are in "tourist mode". Maybe it's just from being constantly "on" and being with someone and a lack of "alone time" (this is also discussed in my next tip). Whatever the situation just remember it is completely normal to feel this way! It doesn't make you a bad friend, child, sibling or host. Just take deep breaths and remember that this trip is only temporary! Enjoy it while you can! Before you know it, you're guest will be heading home and you'll be back to your same old routine. I find that removing yourself for a moment to calm down helps a lot. Even if it's just going to the washroom alone and taking that time to count to ten and refocus. Do whatever works for you to calm down and get through the next couple of hours until you are able to get some alone time. Which brings me to my next tip...

Tip Four: Take time to yourself during the trip.

I know, I know...alone time? Why? How? This person just spent x amount of dollars on a ticket to visit me and I am going to spend time without them?! The answer is...yes. For the sake of your sanity, I highly recommend it. If you're one of the few lucky people who are able to spend an extended period of time constantly around others without feeling like your head is about to pop then maybe you don't need this tip. But I think it is safe to say that most people need at least a few minutes of their day to themselves in order to keep their sanity. Especially if you're being a host for more than four days. Take a moment in the morning to check Facebook, get the gossip from Twitter and "like" the new photos up on Instagram before letting your guest know you're up and ready to go. Or have this moment at night. Take some time before crashing to lay on your bed, read, veg out to some tv, whatever helps you unwind. Even if its just fifteen minutes in the afternoon to make yourself a cup of tea and bask in the silence of your room, take that moment. Your guest will be okay in their room for a little bit. And chances are they probably need a break from you too! If you live in a bachelor style apartment and don't have a separate room to take refuge in then take a bath! An extra long shower! Offer to take a solo walk to the corner store to pick up some snacks! Don't feel guilty to find the time to take a moment to yourself. You are not a bad host in doing this. Everyone needs time to clear their head and refresh. Forcing yourself past your comfort level is just going to increase the chance of a blowout, argument or feelings of resentment later on. Constantly being "on" and not taking a break can result in yourself becoming more easily annoyed when with your guest. Taking fifteen minutes alone is not going to ruin their trip. Exploding over where you're going to go for dinner is more likely to do that. Whenever you feel like you need this time, just be honest with your guest! It is unlikely they will be upset with you when you tell them "I just need to lay down for a bit!" We are all human, we all get tired. It is understandable that even the greatest of hosts need a time out once in a while.

Tip Five: Frustrated? Vent to your friends!

The only people who know exactly how you're feeling are the people right there with you in the same situation! So if you find yourself stressed, frustrated, tired, or at a loss of what to do next - talk to your friends! I am not sitting here telling you to talk badly about your guest to your friends. Not at all! But it is also nice to have a empathetic ear and shoulder to lean on when you're having a moment. Someone who truly "gets it". They understand exactly what its like because they have also been in your situation! They can provide advice, sympathy and reassurance when you need it. God knows my friends have brought me back in my dark moments! Getting your thoughts and feelings out is sometimes all you need to be able to let it go and move on with your day. If anything, they can help you laugh and pull back up so you can fully enjoy your time with your guest!

Tip Six: Become a tourist!

There is nothing like a visit from a loved one to help you remember what makes the place where you live so special! It is so easy to fall into a routine and become used to your surroundings. Sometimes I have to remind myself to step back, take it all in and remember that I am in Japan! So when a guest comes to visit it is the perfect opportunity to become a tourist yourself! Take this chance to go visit that one place you've always been meaning to but never seem to have the time. Or go back and revisit that other place you loved and experience it again with your guest! Take a million photographs and buy some cheesy souvenirs! Remember why you fell in love with this place to begin with!

Tip Seven: After your guest leaves, clean your apartment again!

No one really likes cleaning. But everyone loves the feeling of having a clean apartment! Having a guest can throw your schedule for a loop. So once they are gone and you've got your space back the first thing to do is clean! Cleaning and organizing your living space back to the way it was not only will help you feel more relaxed afterwards but will help bring back a sense of normalcy and routine. It is also a great way to de-stress! I recommend doing this as soon as possible. Real life will sneak back up on you quickly. I know for me, once my friend left I was ready to lay down and nap! But biting the bullet and cleaning right away helped me feel like my space was mine again. It went from a temporary hotel back to my sanctuary. It helped restore the energy in the apartment and once I was done I finally felt like I could lay down and relax, worry free.

Tip Eight: Take the next couple of days, or weekend, to spend time alone.

After a week (or more!) of being a host, constantly being around people and going on adventures it's more than likely you're going to be exhausted! If you have the next few days off, spend time alone and recharge your batteries. If you have to go back to school or work right away then use the weekend! After all the hard work you've done being host you deserve some lazy time in your pjs! Or indulge in whatever is special to you! Whether it's going for a run, drawing, writing, anything that brings you joy that you might not have had a chance to do while being a host! Of course if you find yourself homesick and lonely after your guest leaves, then make sure you do whatever cheers you up! Even if that means surrounding yourself with even more people afterwards! The most important thing is to get back to your zen place and back into your everyday rhythm!

 

Of course being a host is not all hard work. It is also fun! It is exciting to share where you live with loved ones and to make memories together! Life as an expat can often feel like its split in two. Your life back in your home country, and your life in your new country. But having guests from home come and stay with you can help bridge that divide. Just remember these tips, and enjoy the time you have with your guest! It will be over before you know it and you might find yourself missing it! Try not to let the little things bug you and remember there is only so much you can control. Do the best you can, have fun and you and your guest will have an unforgettable time!